Webmaster Tools & Implements

By nagwitch | Published: February 10, 2010

Since starting this little experiment I’ve been hesitant to join Google’s Webmaster Central. Why? I’ve never once thought it would help. However, a few days ago I took their “webmaster” quiz and got a public school “C” as a grade. Pretty good for not ever messing around with Webmaster Central.

Anyway, I just installed a new WordPress plugin called “Meta Tag Manager” that does exactly what its name implies. Why did I need it? Well, rather than mess around with editing my html files by hand, I installed this handy little plugin and made Googlebot happy with some site verification tag code. Neat, huh? I thought so.

Update: Google’s Chrome browser seems to sabotage WordPress.

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Survival Writing

By nagwitch | Published: February 7, 2010

I wrote the following little post a few months ago. I never published it. Today, I’m putting it out there for the public to record.

When I think things aren’t looking good, it probably means I have unwittingly spiked my punch bowl of motivation with an unhealthy splash of clear, extra dry, anxiety. Until I forced myself out of my bedroom and onto my bike for a quick ride with the  local bike club, all I had managed to do today was make oatmeal. Productivity is low. Shit is dark.

Even though productivity is low today, the neurotransmitter related stuff that a little vigorous exercise provides offered some respite from my normal self. With serotonin levels still boosted post ride, I pushed out a little post for Twigs and Tourniquets and had a little bit of fun messing around with voice, mechanics, and grammar. Read More »

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Charisma Clinic

By nagwitch | Published: February 6, 2010

The other day, a young women told me that I’m suave. Shocker, right? Not really. I’m as suave as it gets…and handsome…and smart. So, it was no shock to hear someone verbally confirm it. Conversely, the next thing that person told me was that I’m horrible one-on-one with girls. Shocker, right? Hell yeah! I’m giving ladies “Jane Austen” moments on the regular and making them deeply reconsider their romantic commitments. I can’t help it. It gives me pleasure knowing that someone is enjoying my presence. Even so, my mass amounts of suaveness and macking ability aren’t currently translating into a +1 romantic status. At present, the lack of female companionship has me  depressed. Read More »

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28 Days Later

By nagwitch | Published: August 20, 2009

It’s been 28 days since I lost my job. It’s also been 28 days since The Nagwitch forced me to write, Terminated. Although some days are blissful and some are brutal, for the most part, I’m still relieved.

In the 28 days since receiving the breaking news, I’ve taken what I learned at my previous job and put it all into action for myself. For starters, The Nagwitch is no longer a WordPress.com hosted site but now sits on an actual domain, www.nagwitch.com, hosted by bluehost. For most casual bloggers, this extra work is unnecessary. However, self hosting and domain ownership allow me to further my understanding of search engine optimization (SEO), database integration, web design, and content management. Read More »

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Returning from Vacation

By nagwitch | Published: August 13, 2009

I’ve been home for over a full day now and I’m sort of back on the job hunt. Not quite sure how long I’m going to try. CareerBuilder is mostly full of garbage and I’m having a really hard time finding the motivation to sift through it all. At the moment, the thought of “networking” to find a job makes me want to disappear under the covers. Speaking of covers, slept for over 12 hours last night and assume that something’s still got a hold of me. Dreams contained standard themes.

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Beige House Painter

By nagwitch | Published: July 29, 2009

I lost my job last Thursday. I’ve been unemployed for nearly a week. However, a few days ago I was told of an opportunity to perform some outdoor manual labor for a chunk of cash that amounts to two months of rent. While I don’t need money yet, I’ve decided to take advantage of this opportunity.

On the real job finding front, I spent today writing an absolutely amazing cover letter and tweaking my already outstanding resume. Note to other unemployeds looking to get hired, if it counts, I write like a mother fucking muppet vampire.

Word is bond. Excel is…

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Exodus

By nagwitch | Published: July 25, 2009

Two days ago, I lost my job. For a few crucial reasons, it is probably the best thing that’s happened to me in the last year. In an instant, a whole disgusting schedule of depressing things I didn’t want to do vanished and left only open space. With no army following me, vaporizing the swamp blocking my path was just as good as parting it.

The total vaporization of all the things that were making me miserable has left me with the rare opportunity to start fresh. I’m no longer tied to a physical place I associate with misery. I’m no longer tied to any work relationships that I associate with misery. Aside from the cease in cash flow, I’m sitting pretty.

Now that I’ve escaped from Egypt, how do I stop wondering around in the desert?

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Summer Vocation

By nagwitch | Published: July 24, 2009

At this time yesterday, I was about three hours deep into my newfound position as volunteer job finder. Since then, I’ve walked four miles, gotten drunk twice, and was aggressively groped on by a cute, but random, 21 year young hipster chick. Were I interested in having a one-night stand, I’m sure she would have obliged. However, while promiscuousness isn’t one of my short-term mission objectives, in light of the day’s breaking news it was nice to have a female affirm that I am “one-night stand handsome” and that much of a sweet talker. Hipster chick, thank you.

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As Scheduled

By nagwitch | Published: July 24, 2009

I lost my job yesterday. I’m still relieved. However, I woke up at my usual time this morning without the assistance of an alarm clock. It seems my body has ignored the breaking news either because it’s a dumb animateable sack of filthy water or because it’s a good willed carapace that knows it’s helping me survive by maintaining a job related routine that will surely be of use to us through the foreseeable despondency of looking for and starting a new nine to five. Either way, I’m awake.

In addition to waking me up, my body did another thing today. While I was sleeping, it took advantage of the quiet in my room to whisper a recitation of a wicked recipe that possesses lower intestines to churn all night and reduce their contents into a putrid demonic brew. It seems my body is either trying to argue in the affirmative that it is indeed a dumb sack of filthy water that can’t seem to figure out this whole digestion thing or that it’s coping the only way it knows how to the sudden influx of new stress. Either way, I woke up and had to release some anxiety manifested as liquid shit. Either way, I’m awake.

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Terminated

By nagwitch | Published: July 23, 2009

I lost my job today. I should be upset. However, aside from a few jittery minutes of anxiety before and after receiving the breaking news, I can tell you with the gravest and utmost sincerity that from the moment I stopped being an employee until 9:26 PM on July 23, 2009, the only thing I’ve felt is relief. I hope that continues.

Getting dumped is easier than doing the breaking up.

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